I was not popular in high school. I was tiny, smart-mouthed, and battling my own demons. There were probably plenty of people that were nasty, but I was oblivious. I didn't care, I was much too busy taking too many classes and listening to what is now referred to as "classic" rock. The people who were my friends then are, 35 years later, friends still. It was a time of computers the size of small buildings run by punch cards, and the coolest rotary phone around was the princess; it was easy to be clueless of what others were saying about one.
No longer.
Now, thanks to the ubiquitous-ness of recording devices, internet connectivity, and sharing platforms, secrets and privacy have become fiercely guarded rarities. I have a colleague whose daughter has been subjected to cyber-bullying; no parent likes to feel powerless to protect a child, and the anonymity and relentless onslaught of over-connectedness is difficult to combat.
One mis-step and the veil of civility can be shattered forever. Reputations carefully cultivated over years are wiped away as easily as a spider's web. So we watch what we say, where, in front of whom; what we post, the background of photos, our choice of adjectives. Too Much Information (TMI) is rampant when poor judgement is exercised; we have lost our sense not just of propriety but of discretion.
It has always been easier to destroy than to create. Why take delight in something that takes so little effort? And trust me, someone will notice your snide comment and repeat it; gossiping is like breathing. As the great wit Alice Lee Roosevelt Longworth quipped, "If you can't say something good about someone, sit right here by me." Little gives more wicked delight than hearing about the foolishness of others.
A number of recent incidents have me scratching my head over what to do. The bottom line is that we, in borzoi, aren't very nice to each other. Oh sure, we behave well in public, sheathing our knives and presenting a sweet face to outsiders. And we, like all dog people, have a superlative gift for pulling together in a crisis - the shorter lived the better, lest the fissures surface. Woe unto anyone that says something against our breed of choice, our packing instincts are well honed.
But all too often our favorite hobby is feasting on the flesh of each other. I used to say that borzoi people are opinionated and outspoken. That's true, but that's not all of it. We are mean to each other, and really should stop. It's important that we stop. And each of us must do our part, and support each other.
Over the weekend someone (accidentally, I'm sure) posted to a 1000+ person e-mail list a critique of how someone else describes her dogs and spends her money. I know this person slightly, having corresponded by e-mail some years ago. I can only imagine how hurtful it was for her to read, no matter how accurate (or not, I have no idea) the comments were. We all have a lot to learn. I don't care if you've been in the breed 5 minutes or 5 decades, we all have a lot to learn. Particularly about being nice - not just in public.
As C.S. Lewis said, "Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no no one is watching." The thing is, everybody is watching now.
No longer.
Now, thanks to the ubiquitous-ness of recording devices, internet connectivity, and sharing platforms, secrets and privacy have become fiercely guarded rarities. I have a colleague whose daughter has been subjected to cyber-bullying; no parent likes to feel powerless to protect a child, and the anonymity and relentless onslaught of over-connectedness is difficult to combat.
One mis-step and the veil of civility can be shattered forever. Reputations carefully cultivated over years are wiped away as easily as a spider's web. So we watch what we say, where, in front of whom; what we post, the background of photos, our choice of adjectives. Too Much Information (TMI) is rampant when poor judgement is exercised; we have lost our sense not just of propriety but of discretion.
It has always been easier to destroy than to create. Why take delight in something that takes so little effort? And trust me, someone will notice your snide comment and repeat it; gossiping is like breathing. As the great wit Alice Lee Roosevelt Longworth quipped, "If you can't say something good about someone, sit right here by me." Little gives more wicked delight than hearing about the foolishness of others.
A number of recent incidents have me scratching my head over what to do. The bottom line is that we, in borzoi, aren't very nice to each other. Oh sure, we behave well in public, sheathing our knives and presenting a sweet face to outsiders. And we, like all dog people, have a superlative gift for pulling together in a crisis - the shorter lived the better, lest the fissures surface. Woe unto anyone that says something against our breed of choice, our packing instincts are well honed.
But all too often our favorite hobby is feasting on the flesh of each other. I used to say that borzoi people are opinionated and outspoken. That's true, but that's not all of it. We are mean to each other, and really should stop. It's important that we stop. And each of us must do our part, and support each other.
Over the weekend someone (accidentally, I'm sure) posted to a 1000+ person e-mail list a critique of how someone else describes her dogs and spends her money. I know this person slightly, having corresponded by e-mail some years ago. I can only imagine how hurtful it was for her to read, no matter how accurate (or not, I have no idea) the comments were. We all have a lot to learn. I don't care if you've been in the breed 5 minutes or 5 decades, we all have a lot to learn. Particularly about being nice - not just in public.
As C.S. Lewis said, "Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no no one is watching." The thing is, everybody is watching now.
well done, Leo.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog
ReplyDeleteAmen to that.
ReplyDeleteNicely said.
ReplyDelete