Time to Stop the Madness

I try very hard not to let my buttons get pushed. But sometimes, it happens. I see it coming, and say, yeah, go ahead: push it.

Things started out innocently enough. Victoria Stilwell (of BBC's It's me or the Dog fame) posted on her blog a link to an article written by Sophia Yin DVM, MS - a giant in the world of veterinary behavior.

Dr. Yin has published several books and articles, and was a brilliant public speaker. Her untimely passing last year was an incalculable loss for dog owners and dogs alike.

Sophia had serious cred, and made important information accessible to everyone. Victoria started out as an actress, and has done tremendous good for the field of dog training via tv (way more that that other guy).

I posted, perhaps foolishly, perhaps provocatively, in response to Victoria's posting of Sophia's article:

 

The point of the article, is, on the face of it, one that most people agree with. In fact, I find it pretty easy to agree with most of it. A lot of things can go wrong in breeding domestic animals; it's not all sunshine and roses and puppy breath. Mother nature is a wicked bitch, and things go wrong. Entire volumes have been written about the myriad things that can go wrong and how to try to prevent them, and what to try when it all goes to hell anyway. The financial and emotional costs should give pause to all but the most dedicated breeder. (sidebar: #5 of this post should should be a tattoo.) Statistically, most people "get out" of dogs in about five years (I've seen this several places over the years, but can't find a link at the moment. Readers - help me out?).

It's hard work. It can force gut-wrenching, soul-searching choices. And the good days, few and far between as they sometimes are, are a reward full of intangibles that are impossible to quantify.

Which is why we refer to ourselves as a bit dog-crazy... You have to be a bit touched in the head to do it.

Predictably, the haters started:
 


and - cue the GSD card:


Ah yes, the predictable, one-size-fits-all, "always" and "never" and holier-than-thou misinformation.

tip: the vocabulary of absolutes is the language of extremists. real life is full of nuance, of sometimes and maybe.


Wait - what? Misinformation?

Well, yes. The problem with propaganda is, it's not accurate. The haters are furiously clinging to ignorance because they don't want to deal with the facts.
   Oh, if only we had to "force" our dogs to breed. Anybody that has ever had crates, doors, and walls destroyed by two dogs determined to get to each other - or, conversely, had a bitch say over his dead body to a male's advances - knows what a ludicrous fallacy that is.

What facts?

These facts: Why dogs are in shelters. Where shelter dogs come from. What's changing with shelter populations. The trends in dog flipping. The reality that this is a demand problem. The reality that it's actually smart money to get a dog from a responsible breeder. The fact that it's pretty easy to tell a good breeder from a bad one - all you have to do is make an effort. The fact that there are NO DATA that support the urban legend of random-bred dogs being healthier than purpose bred dogs; the data in fact show that mixed breeds are LESS healthy. Read Hutchinson. Peruse OFA. The facts are there.

One pet peeve - it ain't adoption. Money changes hands. It's a purchase. The difference is, where did you buy the dog?

Read the last sentence in the bottom comment. Read it again. I do wonder what the rest of the story is on that...

My favorite comment - sorry, I can't find it now - was someone suggesting (tongue in cheek) that people stop having babies as long as there are children in foster care. Now there's an ironic analogy that would give one pause.


Many people posted their agreement (50+ "likes" is a lot), and their own comments. It's nice not to be the only voice of reason in the dark.

  

And this:

Name another hobby where people feel comfortable verbally assaulting total strangers and telling them how to spend their money. I bet knitters don't get this sort of vitriol. Model horse enthusiasts. Remote controlled gliders. College football fans. Shriners. Collectors of stamps, coins, rocks, fine art, guns, books, jazz... No? Can't think of one? Me either.

And, really, that's what this is - hate. Plain and simple. Hate usually stems from fear, which often comes from ignorance.

I have always said - ignorance is curable. Stupidity... not so much.

Jon Katz said it well:

As always, it is the dogs who suffer from this human arrogance, not the people. Dog bites on children are epidemic, millions of dogs are returned to shelters and rescue facilities each year because people get them without knowing anything about them or how to live with them.

 Sometimes it seems that the whole point of getting a dog for many people – this is quite clear from my messages –  is to rescue something, to feel good. The messengers have no ideas about getting a dog other than that it must be rescued. As if that is enough to know.

You can read the entire essay here.

Time to stop willful ignorance, the hate. Time to look at the DATA, not the propaganda. Time to deal with reality.

Familiar Stranger

This past weekend, while sharing a hotel room with dear friends, I said aloud something that has been bugging me for at least a year.

Now I understand why people dye their hair and have plastic surgery. The face in the mirror every morning doesn't match the picture of myself in my head.

Or, put more bluntly:

Who the hell is that old hag? And why is she looking at me with knowing eyes?

I can honestly say I earned every wrinkle and grey hair. I wouldn't go back to my 20's for anything, and I mean, not for nothing. I learned a lot in my 30's, hit my stride in my 40's. Now, in my 50's, I acknowledge that I've probably got more years behind me than ahead. Hopefully I'm just now at the half-way point, as it would be a pity I think to waste all the learning - is this wisdom? - by not having as much time to use it as I spent acquiring it.

I have never been particularly vain, so it is uncomfortable to feel a jolt every morning in the bathroom mirror - that's me? Well yes, of course it is. Lift the chin and smile a little, and the reflection is more comfortable. Less... well, less old.

It does not help that my husband, a decade older than I, still has the skin of a baby and gets carded at least once a year. Yes, it's typically at a sporting event and while wearing a baseball cap, but still... He is ageless, inside and out. I married Peter Pan.

So I wonder if I should consider getting my hair dyed... no, I would never spend that much money getting my hair done once a month. What a colossal waste of time - I can barely be bothered to get it cut more than three times a year. It is farce to think I would spend my weekends with coloring bottles and wearing a plastic cape. My mother has dyed her hair since she was 16, when it came in winter-white, I know what is involved. I would not pay for botox or a facelift.

I just wonder why I don't look like I feel.

Maybe it's the high desert - too much sun, not enough humidity. Maybe it's the mileage I've put on this body. Maybe it's the mis-spent youth, the abused metabolism, the years of diet Pepsi and Cheetos (breakfast of champions!) Maybe it's taking for granted the gifts of DNA - good bones, good skin, good weight - for a lot of years.

Choices have consequences. And they are staring me in the face, every day.

New Year and Resolve

It's 2015. How did that happen? *Pouf* another year gone. It's true - the older I get, the faster the pages turn.

2014 was, on the whole, a pretty good year. There were some tough losses (RIP Jake & Boomer), some very bad days. More of those to come, no doubt. Good days come come at a price, and we paid in spades last year.

It was the first year I made a new year's resolution and really made a regular, conscious effort, to keep to it. I'm pretty pleased with how that turned out. 

So this year, I'm going to try it again. A resolution more public and easy to quantify. Write a blog post at least twice a month.

And yes, this counts as one ;-)